Author Archives: Marc Mac

So a little about myself. I became a dad at 27 in 2011. My son is whats known as a miracle baby being born at 24 1/2 weeks early. 1lb 13oz and 13in long. We lived in the NICU together for 3 months where the last month I ended up being the primary sole caretaking parent and lived at the hospital till his release. Now I’m going to back up here a bit and say the minute I laid eyes on him immediately had heart string connections. In the NICU he had died twice, had what is known as a TIA, was placed on an oscillator and given 3 days to breath on his own or needing to think of harder decisions. He became healthy enough to survive all that snd come home. In and out of the hospital for the next 6 months going between 6 different doctors. Ended up developing febrile seizures and happened every year for 8 years.

Moving off the horrible part of his life and into more of about our lives together with being a single father with very limited resources for men as parents and a little boy who’s mom doesn’t want to put the work into being there. I’m sure it’s seen as a erratic decision because the connection wasn’t there like I had thought. Honestly I was done before I found out she was pregnant and after a premature birth of her wrong doing, had offered a one more attempt to do it right for my son. Things played out the way they were meant to be I guess. So, moving forward as a single dad, my parenting journey began with the gracious grandparents house for the first two years. Him and I shared a room for that 2 years let alone no space with 3 adults and an baby/toddler. The grandparents helped with middle of the night bottles. At 2 1/2 we finally obtained our first apartment together. 2 bedroom apartment with a view, porch and corner unit in an apartment building. At this point I’ve started to see its time for a source of income. Currently I was obtaining cash assistance which paid for low income housing. I went to EMT school, got my certificate and license. Started working at a private ambulance company in 2015. The end of 2016 went to paramedic school. Completed it in 2018 certificate and license. While finishing paramedic school, moved to a better low income 2 story with a basement duplex with more room. Continued at the same private company for another year +. Got accepted to a Fire Department in 2020 with EMS involved and covid 19 began 1 month later. Due to my family dynamic. For me to work my parents a.k.a grandparents would watch my son. So had to make the decision due to working and interacting with Covid 19 patients that my son remain at and with the grandparents which lasted till June 2019. Which lead’s me into today. Still at the Fire Department here in 2022.

My little boy when growing up was so very happy. He had curly blonde hair, got the nickname DeDe from him and would just brighten my day and still does on the bluest of blue days. He totally began the enjoyment of school the very first minute into today in 4th grade. Actually just recently had the sniffles, looked tired and when asked if he’d like to stay home he said he wanted to go to school. Straight A some B student. Very proud dad I am of him. I’ll be honest it hasn’t been an undefeated life. Theres been many, many… many tough times. Everyone has different results but it’s not easy being parented by other woman who the inly idea I see it, thinks a man or I can not parent like a woman can. That is what this blog is about and to help understand that things are not as equal as they seem or do not seem to be. That if you see the above story my friends, that my son is a happy little boy, that his life would be totally different and just to add, had died the first week at home. So imagine the already bot involved parent parenting at this time. That the right decision was made based off the facts presented to allow the Judge to do so. In no way am I saying if your only going to parent out of spite and to not still show life skills including working, that this is not to support that. Rather there are some men out there hurt that things were immediately terminated once the mom became pregnant. Some to survive off 1 or 2 different dads and just that. I think eventually and hopefully the custody hearings will be more complex with equal opportunity to the right parent snd maybe someday create the process of making these little man’s and ladies that knowing it’s not that easy and to really make sure the possible outcome is going to be wanted.

I hope the story above and the idea behind it in the end is noticed. That its not an attack on women as they would see it rather its about exactly the same idea they too, to this day stand for, is equal rights for both men and women and that there are wrong primary parents out there due to the immediate decision of Mom’s raising the child. Any comments good, bad, different or similar perspectives I’m totally down to discuss here. I’d actually like to see what everyone feels on this subject.

So weird title right? Brings back childhood story times maybe, idk! i remember, when I was little, bring do happy for that Little Engine for making it. Little did I realize that’s a story about the Engine not giving up.

Now Im sure for the current Dad’s you got some connection from the get go from the first time you saw your little boy or girl. Fast forward a bit. Getting up in the middle of the night to feed them when they were hungry or to change them. If you can fast forward still, having to not take your eye off them as they booked it as fast as they could laughing do hard cause you chased them or as you just sat down and got to get right back up. Gosh the silly frustration then. How about talking back? How about them not enough just yet to help around the house yet but you somehow get so busy you wish they could. There are more furthering steps while being a dad I have not encountered yet, but each moment I’ve described that has gone by and is no longer here, a little piece of me wishes it was!

Now back on track. With all these moments now and to come, comes the not so funny fun want to drop the What The F (bomb) frustrating times. Somehow , even being doing parenting on my own, somehow I still get the “oh let him be” or the “it’s ok” when I’m correcting him or even being redirected while redirecting him. It gets frustrating. Sometimes, I guess, i feel like that Little Engine. Not do much wanting to give up cause yea it get’s hard. Im sure some Dad’s do step away for a little but or long time specially these days with more kids born out of wedlock. Its important though to replace that Little Engine with yourself on that track. Your child will always be that hill and there will be more then one hill. Remember that the more hills you conquer the easier it is to face the next one!